Atari Pole Position – Your Family Will Die

1980s, Atari, Featured Articles, Video Games 0 108

Back in the 80’s, video games weren’t just a fun, engaging, and mild form of cheap entertainment. They will kill you in any moment, any place, and any time. Just ask this family.

In this piece of video game commercial history, a family of yuppies happily cruise through suburbia on their Sunday drive when father is called a “Jerk” by an indescript heckler. Of course, he is a corporate executive, so it’s to be expected to look like a jerk and expected to by smug about it. Father is a complete douchebag, first for taking his family for a drive around Suburbia, but secondly for wearing a shirt, vest, and bowtie that clearly don’t match.

The punishment for being a real jerk? Your family is forced into suicidal racing slavery in POLE POSITION!

The hand of God shakes them from their car and forces these yuppies into a death race while rocking out to “Pole Position” (the song). This level of hell, maybe the 3rd or 4th level of hell, forces man, wife, and children to drive at full speed as they crash and burn along the way. Towards the end, something indescribable happens to Mother, who bellows a bloodcurling scream before colliding with another car in her last moments.

Then God (the announcer, or whoever) reminds us that Pole Position will leave skid marks on your soul.

About the author / 

Adam

Adam is an enigma, folded gently into dough, wrapped inside of cellophane, and hidden on the top shelf where he peers at passersby. He lives in Portland, OR with his wife and two dogs.

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