Mr. Bucket is a fine creation of Milton Bradley in 1992. Here’s the jingle, it speaks for itself:

The Mr. Bucket Jingle:

I’m Mr. Bucket, toss your balls in my top

I’m Mr. Bucket, out of my mouth they will pop

I’m Mr. Bucket, we’re all gonna run

I’m Mr. Bucket, buckets of fun!

I’m Mr. Bucket, balls pop out of my mouth

I’m Mr. Bucket, a ball is what I’m about

I’m Mr. Bucket, we’re all gonna run

I’m Mr. Bucket, buckets of fun!

That said, it’s one of the better toys to come out in the 90′s. It’s covered in trendy fluorescent prints that all children in the 90′s deemed far superior to the more subtle hues today (unless we’re working in construction or being seen in traffic.)

Pretty much apart from this extra-excited commercial about a new form of ball, there’s nothing really unique about what you do with a Balzac. You kick, punch, and hit it like you would any other ball.

But, Balzac is still around. Even stranger than you could possibly believe, it looks like they’re now sales have been is low they’re just giving away this stuff for free? The official Balzac Website says “everything is free”.

But then the efforts to come up with new and innovative products for boys to squirt themselves with made a new and very strange turn.

Introducing the Oozinator, a plastic alien-movie-inspired pump action ooze chucker. You load up the cartridge of white sticky goo, pump the handle excitedly several times in a back-and-forth motion to fire splurts of white creamy fluid all over your unsuspecting friends.

They’ll be scarred for life, terrified of your goo-gun, but you’ll find this activity natural and awesome. At least for a couple years, and then I’m positive there will be discoveries of many creative new ways to vent this goo-squirting energy.

The Game Genie was immensely popular, so I never understood why this device wasn’t continued for other consoles, or something similar to it.

Something really interesting about the totally radical Game Genie, dudes.  Nintendo hated it.  The Game Genie’s manufacturer Galoob (part of Hasbro as of 1998) first went to Nintendo to make it a licensed product, and Nintendo rejected it.  Galoob released it anyway, resulting in a lawsuit from Nintendo that the Game Genie infringed on their copyrights.  The courts favored Galoob and they continued to sell about 5 million Game Genies for NES, SNES, Game Boy, Sega Genesis, and Sega Game Gear.

Troll Barbie.  Yes, really.  Did you ever think a 40 year old teenage-beauty queen would be so closely associated with a “troll”?  Nobody saw this one coming.

They don’t mean the ugly, rotten trolls that hide under bridges, waiting to eat children and harass passersby.  Mattel means those cute little trolls with the furry hair that became a brief fad every 15 years or so since the 60′s.  Barbie hops onto the troll trend by…well, getting really into trolls.

There’s not much fantasy or role-playing with this Barbie as is usual in most Barbie advertising, which makes many Barbies in the 1990′s uniquely different like that from eariler Barbie dolls.

Rappin’ Rockin’ Barbie was a whole lot of rappin’ and not a lot of rockin’.  She’s cool since she comes complete with the most happenin’ clothes – pink and green footwear, a black skirt and a big gold chain.  She comes with a tiny boombox that plays a bassless rap beat to groove to.  You can rap a song, too!

My guess with this one is that after having the Ferrari in the 1980′s, it’s really hard to top that in terms of ride choice for Barbie.  Could it possibly be cool for Barbie than to dress her friends up like good ol’ outdoorsy country folk and camping in luxury?  Mattel says yes, and I said luxury.

And I mean luxury.  Barbie and friends are surely not roughing it in the wild on this camping trip.  They’ve got fancy parties, barbecues, sleepovers, a detachable car, and even a washer and dryer for a little taste of home while they’re gone.

Potty Training Kelly, from 1996, is one of those toys from Barbie’s years of desperately vying for attention.   Honestly, what were they thinking? I suppose the one saving grace may be to use this as a potty training tool for youngsters, but to design a Barbie toy to role play how to pee?

Barbie was fairly conservative in this reincarnation of her lifestyle, appearing more maternal with her hair pulled back and a denim vest.  But nobody bought Potty Training Kelly for Barbie.  They bought Potty Training Kelly for Kelly, a small toddler sized Barbie with a hole in her mouth you fill with water, and it drains out in hole between her legs when you squeeze her.

Yes, you potty train kelly by literally squeezing the piss out of her.

Potty Training Kelly also comes complete with a toilet with working toilet paper roll, toilet, and sink so you can play out your bathroom fantasies in great detail, all day long.

MC Hammer, remember him?  The baggy-pants wearin’, 2-legit-2-quit, flat-topped rap music star who you “Can’t Touch”?   Well, nobody under the age of 15 will have any idea who he is but the rest of us either heard of him or were dressing like him back in the early 1990′s.  And along with that comes big records, big shows, and big advertising contracts with KFC.

The point of this spot is quite simple – MC Hammer likes popcorn chicken.  You like MC Hammer.  Therefore, you should eat KFC’s popcorn chicken.