Best Old TV Commercials

Troll Barbie – lol

Best Old TV Commercials — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 01:47:31 +0000

Troll Barbie. Yes, really. Did you ever think a 40 year old teenage-beauty queen would be so closely associated with a “troll”? Nobody saw this one coming.

They don’t mean the ugly, rotten trolls that hide under bridges, waiting to eat children and harass passersby. Mattel means those cute little trolls with the furry hair that became a brief fad every 15 years or so since the 60’s. Barbie hops onto the troll trend by…well, getting really into trolls.

There’s not much fantasy or role-playing with this Barbie as is usual in most Barbie advertising, which makes many Barbies in the 1990’s uniquely different like that from eariler Barbie dolls.

Bathtime Fun Barbie

Best Old TV Commercials — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 01:32:39 +0000

Bathtime Fun Barbie brought Barbie to the bathroom next to the soap and her “fashion foam”, applied to Barbie’s body to create foam skirts and clothing for her… while bathing. Other fashion foam colors sold seperately

Magic Moves Barbie

Best Old TV Commercials — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 01:05:09 +0000

Magic Moves Barbie comes with a 3 piece outfit, including a “stole” that she gently “lifts” with rotating shoulders when you push a button on her back.

Rappin’ Rockin’ Barbie

Best Old TV Commercials — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 22:22:06 +0000

Rappin’ Rockin’ Barbie was a whole lot of rappin’ and not a lot of rockin’. She’s cool since she comes complete with the most happenin’ clothes – pink and green footwear, a black skirt and a big gold chain. She comes with a tiny boombox that plays a bassless rap beat to groove to. You can rap a song, too!

Barbie Golden Dream Motor Home

Best Old TV Commercials — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 22:13:50 +0000

Barbie has always had the coolest cars. She had the pink ‘Vette and the Ferrari, which came in both White and Red. So first impression when you see a commercial for Barbie’s Motor Home, you have to start wondering what happened to her modeling career. But wait -

My guess with this one is that after having the Ferrari in the 1980’s, it’s really hard to top that in terms of ride choice for Barbie. Could it possibly be cool for Barbie than to dress her friends up like good ol’ outdoorsy country folk and camping in luxury? Mattel says yes, and I said luxury.

And I mean luxury. Barbie and friends are surely not roughing it in the wild on this camping trip. They’ve got fancy parties, barbecues, sleepovers, a detachable car, and even a washer and dryer for a little taste of home while they’re gone.

Barbie is into Jeans (UK Commercial)

Best Old TV Commercials — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 22:01:15 +0000

Barbie is into trends…and into jeans. But not too into jeans because the fact is she’s not wearing jeans. But she does have long French hair and three pre-teen British singers backing her up, so she must be into jeans.

Ooooo! Ken notices!

Barbie Dream Bed

Best Old TV Commercials — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 21:55:44 +0000

Barbie: Hey Ken, come check out my new Dream Bed!

Ken: Sure, Barbie!

Barbie: Look, it says “Barbie” on my blankets and pillows, it’s hot pink with fancy lace on everything, even the canopy! I want to lay in it right now! Weee! (Barbie jumps into bed)

Ken: Well I must say Barbie, your bed’s pretty gay. Ah well, there’s no room for me, anyway.

Barbie: Sure there is, lay on your back, and I’ll get on top! If you want your own spot though, you’ll have to speak with Mattel.

Perfume Pretty Barbie

Best Old TV Commercials — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 21:48:07 +0000

Barbies with gimmicks reached a new cliche with Perfume Pretty Barbie – a Barbie with even longer hair and a small bottle of cheap perfume your kids will be smelling like for the next 5 days. She also came with a transforming dress/skirt outfit and a hot pink Barbie-sized comb.

Astronaut Barbie – Barbie in Space!

Best Old TV Commercials — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 21:43:44 +0000

“Girls Can Do Anything” is Barbie’s slogan in this classic Barbie TV Advertisement. And Barbie surely does break barriers for both women and humanity with her super hot trip to Outer Space in her super hot Space uniform! Barbie visits the moon where she plants her hot pink Mattel Barbie flag and then her space uniform transforms into a hot mini-skirt outfit for a space-age dance party.

Barbie with Potty Training Kelly, she tinkles!

Best Old TV Commercials — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 21:31:41 +0000

The more recent years of Barbie have arrived at some level of desperatism, with toy producers scrapping the bottom of the barrel for new innovative toy ideas. Every now and then a really curious toy makes it out into mass production and mass marketed on every Saturday morning cartoon break along with all the cereals, snacks, video games, and other toys.

Potty Training Kelly, from 1996, is one of those toys. Honestly, what were they thinking? I suppose the one saving grace may be to use this as a potty training tool for youngers, but to design a toy to role play proper urination?

Barbie was fairly conservative in this reincarnation of her lifestyle, appearing more maternal with her hair pulled back and a denim vest. But nobody bought Potty Training Kelly for Barbie. They bought Potty Training Kelly for Kelly, a small toddler sized Barbie with a hole in her mouth you fill with water, and it drains out in hole between her legs when you squeeze her.

Yes, you potty train kelly by literally squeezing the piss out of her.

Potty Training Kelly also comes complete with a toilet with working toilet paper roll, toilet, and sink so you can play out your bathroom fantasies in great detail, all day long.