• Freddy Krueger-esque stripes.
• The thin, long neck of a giraffe.
• A smile that never fades.
• A jaw that barely moves.
• Animated arms that flail about.
• The height of a toddler with the appearance of a tween.
• She has an obsession with being human.
• …and worst of all, she also speaks in French.

Honestly… is there one aspect of this toy that doesn’t say “creepy”?

What exactly is causing all of this laughter? They say laughter is contagious, but usually something funny happens. Even the announcer can’t keep his chuckles at bay. I’m guessing because it’s yet another toy doesn’t come with batteries. Joke is on you, mom and dad.

Troll Barbie.  Yes, really.  Did you ever think a 40 year old teenage-beauty queen would be so closely associated with a “troll”?  Nobody saw this one coming.

They don’t mean the ugly, rotten trolls that hide under bridges, waiting to eat children and harass passersby.  Mattel means those cute little trolls with the furry hair that became a brief fad every 15 years or so since the 60′s.  Barbie hops onto the troll trend by…well, getting really into trolls.

There’s not much fantasy or role-playing with this Barbie as is usual in most Barbie advertising, which makes many Barbies in the 1990′s uniquely different like that from eariler Barbie dolls.

Rappin’ Rockin’ Barbie was a whole lot of rappin’ and not a lot of rockin’.  She’s cool since she comes complete with the most happenin’ clothes – pink and green footwear, a black skirt and a big gold chain.  She comes with a tiny boombox that plays a bassless rap beat to groove to.  You can rap a song, too!

My guess with this one is that after having the Ferrari in the 1980′s, it’s really hard to top that in terms of ride choice for Barbie.  Could it possibly be cool for Barbie than to dress her friends up like good ol’ outdoorsy country folk and camping in luxury?  Mattel says yes, and I said luxury.

And I mean luxury.  Barbie and friends are surely not roughing it in the wild on this camping trip.  They’ve got fancy parties, barbecues, sleepovers, a detachable car, and even a washer and dryer for a little taste of home while they’re gone.

Barbie is into trends…and into jeans.  But not too into jeans because the fact is she’s not wearing jeans.  But she does have long French hair and three pre-teen British singers backing her up, so she must be into jeans.

Ooooo!  Ken likey!

Barbie:  Hey Ken, come check out my new Dream Bed! It says “Barbie” on my blankets and pillows, it’s hot pink with fancy lace, even the canopy!  (Barbie jumps into bed)

Ken:  Well I must say Barbie, your bed’s pretty lame.  And there’s no room for me, either.

Barbie:  Sure there is, lay on your back, and I’ll get on top!  If you want the Queen size you’ll have to speak with Mattel.

Barbies with gimmicks reached a new cliche with Perfume Pretty Barbie – a Barbie with even longer hair and a small bottle of cheap perfume your kids will be smelling like for the next 5 days.    She also came with a transforming dress/skirt outfit and a hot pink Barbie-sized comb.