This is Susan. Susan begins by confessing her mental disorders, which is usually not a good thing to disclose to strangers you’ve just met, but in Susan’s case, she is confident to tell us that she is either a pleasure-seeking Hedonist or a hard-nosed practician.
I have to suspect, though, that since her practical side appears to us from thin air, there is something else going on; either this is a manifestation of an imaginary friend like Tyler Durden from Fight Club or there is a secret Susan operation that produced a clone who enjoys bookkeeping and possesses horrible eyesight.
Regardless of the hidden, true nature of Susan and her doppelganger, they both can appreciate Ivory soap.
Which, by the way, it floats, as Susan the Hedonist demonstrates. I have to guess that Susan’s Practical Self also did not design her bathroom. The tub is right in the middle of the room and appears to have a headboard – does she sleep in there, too?
Her Practical Side isn’t as much interested in the product itself, but it’s price compared to another company called “Other Soap”. I wonder if Other Soap also floats. I’ll bet Susan’s neighbor Beatrice, whose only mental disorder is an irrational paranoia of Commies and falling asleep in the bathtub, prefers Other Soap.
Stupid Beatrice. Susan should school her on soap, but I’d suggest Susan send her Practical Side so that Beatrice doesn’t get the wrong message.