Best Old Commercials

This commercial from America’s Daily Farmers in 1985 was part of a much larger advertising campaign to sell more milk. It’s part of a series where kids drink milk to rapidly transform into their adult selves as if spiked with fast-acting aging serum. Most of them are driven purely by ego and narcissism, drinking milk with confidence that they’ll grow to be the egotistical asshole they’ve always dreamed to become. Must be the milk.

The message here is pretty simple – the next time you’re bullied, reason with said bullies that you’re ingesting large quantities of bovine lactate and there will be a day that you’ll be large enough to strangle each of them at the same time with a gentle squeeze from your dairy-roided fists. And this works, because in the milk-drinking universe, middle school bullies can always be convinced with a little smart talk about life choices.

Seems to me that taking his milk money sounds like the only logical thing to do.