Rappin’ Rockin’ Barbie

1990s, Barbie, Toys 1 369

First off, you heard that too..  right? Batteries included?  Why did that ever stop being a thing?  Batteries included, and snap bracelets, were some of the best innovations from this decade! Oh, and fanny packs too, of course.

Anyway, since this commercial is so.. In yo’ face 90’s, and materialistic as.. well…. a fucking 80’s hangover. We should probably talk about the hip clothes and accessories this Barbie comes with… ummmm… pass.

So, if you’re a youngster that has happened to stumble upon this on your mom’s web browser, which by the way; she must have impeccable taste in websites, then buckle in and let’s learn a little about the decade of consumerism and materialism in the United States.

Let’s talk about the totally rad features you get for the money spent”


Here’s Rappin’ Rockin’ Barbie,
Umm, please pass the bong..
What the fuck, that’s a boom box..?
This shit’s gonna be long…

Oh geez, whatta tool,
From her head to her toes.
It’s worse than I thought,
Definitely gonna need some blow.

This Barbie is totally righteous,
Like.. the best around!
Wait.. is this hip hop?
Cuz, it’s hard to hear..
Over that white noise sound!

Even though this is hip hop,
With a flood of demin and gold chains too,
But, there’s not even one black person,
In her whole dame crew..

Rappin’ Rockin’ Barbie OUT!

About the author / 


Squishing ladybugs since 1987. Nasty little boogers..

1 Comment

  1. lindsay October 18, 2011 at 1:29 pm -  Reply

    i just got this barbie for my collection. i think she’s cute! the 80s and early 90s had some of the most cool and original barbies ever made!

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